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10k artist – 9 months testo

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[verse]
it’s been nine months since you passed away
exactly nine months, nine months today
it hasn’t got easy, nothing’s numbed the pain
from time to time, i still call you by mistake
i still crave our talks after a bad day
i imagine the advice and the words you’d say
but when it’s not your voice, it isn’t the same
with every line, another piece of my heart breaks
i’m not sure how much more of this i can take
you were so young, only 48
yet i am the one that has been a victim to god’s game
every bone in my body constantly aches
i know it was your time, and it’s hard to say
because it was cancer that took you away
i’m trying so hard not to lead astray
but these feelings are so hard to bury away
you gave me life, because of you + i’m breathing
tears in my eyes, they won’t stop leaking
god took you but i’m sure he had reasons
need to keep my faith, need to keep believing
changed so much but i’ll keep being the new me
so when you’re looking down, then you will see
the good i’m doing and you’ll be proud of me
i fell so many times and you put me back on my feet
and now you’re not here, i feel vulnerable and weak
i can’t let go, i can’t accept defeat
sometimes i struggle so much, i forget how to breathe
but you, i will always need
maybe i’m selfish or maybe its greed
but i promise this won’t be the last time that we meet
it might be weeks, it might be months
it might be many years, many years to come
but when it happens, we’ll have a big hug
i’ll tell you everything, how your grandkids grew up
i’ll tell you i love you and everything is alright
then we will walk off into the light
i’m releasing this early by sixteen days
today i’m struggling as it’s your birthday
i already went through your first christmas away
i had to embrace the tears of pain
i still wrap up gifts in your name
now it’s your birthday, it’s like christmas again
and people are scared, they won’t mention your name
i know they’re trying to be polite, it causes more pain
i need you back, i need you here
losing you was my biggest fear
and when i found out that the end was near
my whole life changed, everything unclear
i’ll miss you, mum, i’m sure you’re missing us too
but one thing i promise that we’ll never forget you
i can’t keep going, so here’s what i’ll do
say just three words: i love you

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